Quite likely it's one of those mood swings. Possibly I just want to 'emo' like the commonplace losers. High chance I'm just making a fuss, ignorant of true desolation in my spoilt & comfortable state. Redundant. Shallow. Immature. Downright loser.

I have a good circle of friends. I have multiple close cliques. I have tons of people I love and cherish. Those tons love me back in their own ways that are heart-warming. I have no lack of company. I have buddies for all kinds of activities you name. There are people whom I would fork out any sum of money for. They too will do the same for me. I delight in being personal with people, for that, they reciprocate.

Though they say there is no such thing as "I have no one to talk to" and in fact, I'm actually on this same bandwagon of an idea, I might just be using it as an escape for my reality. I'm positive in life and also in my entries. This entry reveals my weak side and I don't like it. But I don't give a shit about that now, if I don't have a person to confide in, the very least this blog could serve me is, to contain my hopeless whining.

I don't like revealing this side of me, it just attracts too much attention and sympathy. Heck, don't put me in the same category as those who scavenge attention that way. I will rip you apart. Whoever you are reading this, don't tag, don't think this is Sunny and forget this entirely. Stop reading here if you are put off, you will be doing me a favour.

God, I wonder why You didn't place a mentor in my life, someone whom would understand the way I think, someone to guide, someone I can confide in. You've put me as such a position for 1 or 2 brothers, but I need 1 too. Is it because I'm blind to realise there's one around me? Or is it because you want me to keep praying for it?

I guess it's my own doing, those things that I need to talk or confide about cannot reach just about anybody's ears. Hidden and unseen from most people, I need to get it off my chest, but that's just not possible. Putting it across like that somewhat makes me shady. I don't care what you think. Also kind of makes me mysterious. Not true, the last thing I would do is to act mysterious. Take it from me on this, else the other thing you'll get is shit beaten out of you.

I take pride in accepting people, being sincere and loving them. Maybe that's why God has blessed me with my circle of friends. But I can't help feeling lonely. For there is none I can seek solace with. None that I can pour out to on a regular basis. God, please continue to sustain me even without a confidant. God, teach me to turn to You and seek peace in my gloomy periods so that the devil will have no foothold over me to toy around. Sorry to anyone reading for sounding violent, but I do mean it.

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